BUILDING OUR HOME ON THE BEDROCK OF INNER BEAUTY

Gleans from Sunday End of Month with Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

DLBC Gbagada, Lagos HQ

30th June 2019

Topic –  BUILDING OUR HOME ON THE BEDROCK OF INNER BEAUTY

Text – 1 Peter 3:1-7

“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:4). As we look at verses 1-7, we see that the Lord is talking to the families through the inspired pen of Apostle Peter. God instituted marriage through the creation of the man and woman. He ordained the family and wants to restore us to the first blessing of His original plan so that all the consequences of the curse will be removed from every family; and whatever might have happened in the past in the family, the Lord is going to repair and rebuild us a new home in Jesus’ name. Each Christian home and family can have a good, happy, godly, progressive and heavenly family. All we need is the word of God’s grace and that grace will be manifested in every life in Jesus’ name.

3 points:


Point 1. THE INNER BEAUTY OF A VIRTUOUS WIFE

1 Peter 3:1-6

A Virtuous Wife is beautiful, but the beauty is from the inside, and then it comes to the outside. Saved by grace, cleansed by the blood of Christ and sanctified, the woman becomes a virtuous wife, mother and homemaker. What she should possess that makes her beautiful: (i) A Winsome Character – 1 Peter 3:1-2; Romans 15:1-3. Her inner beauty makes her winsome, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear (1 Peter 3:1-2). Her husband might be difficult, tough and tyrannical but she will not drive him away, for God has enough grace for a wife through her seemingly sheepish winsome character, and loving submission, to draw her husband to herself and to Christ. She is to bear the infirmity of her weak husband and not to please herself (Romans 15:1), and please him for his good to edification. (ii) A Compatible Outward Cleanliness – 1 Peter 3:3; Revelations 21:2. “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel” (1 Peter 3:3). While there must be moderation in her dressing, her outward appearance must be good and presentable to the husband. The wife is adorned for her husband and not the world. She is to be pleasing to him and not unkempt, shabby and dirty (Revelations 21:2). (iii) A Meek and Quiet Spirit – 1 Peter 3:4,15. This is what makes the wife beautiful and acceptable to the husband. “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:4). She not only takes care of her outward but is very mindful of the inward beauty: grace, meek and quiet spirit. Always take care of your heart, because it betrays you on your face. If you are angry, it will show on your face; difficult to live and interact with, it will show in your action. A virtuous wife carries in hwe bosom meekness, gentleness as well as a quiet spirit. (iv) A Trusting Disposition – 1 Peter 3:5a; Hebrews 11:11. “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God” (1 Peter 3:5a). Whenever there is a challenge in the home, a virtuous wife will put her trust in God for a solution and not complain, murmur nor look down on your husband when things are hard or difficult. If anyone is barren here, barrenness will go away in Jesus’ name (Hebrews 11:11). Children and do not come by fighting one another in the family, neither do delayed blessings. If there is scarcity today there will be plenty tomorrow. (v) A Submissive Conduct – 1 Peter 3:5b-6. Sarah continually called her husband Abraham, lord. Your submissive conduct should be all the time, even when there is unhappiness in your heart. Maintain holiness, good language and the name you call him, even when you are unhappy. (vi) A Respecting Tongue – 1 Peter 3:6; Proverbs 12:4; Psalms 12:4; Proverbs 15:1-4. A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband and talks respectfully about him whether before or behind him.  She knows how to quench the fire by the words of her mouth, and builds her home with words that will mend and not mar. Her tongue is as a repairing and beautiful tool that will help the family move forward. (vii) A Helpful Support – 1 Peter 3:7; Proverbs 31:12,10-31. The wife is a helpful support to the husband in praying prevailing prayer. She is a helpmeet and will do her husband good all the days of his life. She is hard working and resourceful, selling things needful in the community. “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worth willingly with her hands” (Proverbs 31:13). She is a caring wife, and has the liberty in the home to distribute clothes and items not needed in the family to the poor and needy. She does not talk as a foolish person to tear down her home. She beautifies her husband and makes him respected and honoured in the society. “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). Only those who pray, seek the face of the Lord, not walking by sight, can find a virtuous woman.     

Point 2. THE INTERNAL BACKBONE OF A VIBRANT HUSBAND

1 Peter 3:7; Genesis 20:7,14,17; 25:20-21; Numbers 30:8,13; Jeremiah 29:6-7; 1 Timothy 5:7,8; 1 Corinthians 7:2

A husband must able to stand straight and firm, solid and stable in the home; able to protect the wife, children and the entire family in times of danger and difficult, and not run away. He must be strong but not a tyrant; strong to defend, uphold and encourage and such a husband must have backbone. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). As a husband, you don’t feel intimidated nor are you competing with your wife, but you are to complement each other in the home.  You are to give honour to the wife, and you take care of her. You don’t feel insecure or threatened by your wife and misconstrue every action. Have self-confidence.

“Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine” (Genesis 20:7). When the husband as the backbone of his family does wrong, it affects the whole family. When you have pains or disease in your backbone, you are helpless, nor can you help others. But Abimelech had a backbone, did his restitution by restoring Abraham’s wife as the Lord commanded him, and was able to move his family forward by obeying the Lord. Whatever your community or kingdom may say, have backbone of conviction to carry out the commandment of God. “And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived” (Genesis 25:21). Isaac was the backbone of his family, and he intreated the Lord for his wife. He acted as a man that has solution. Have backbone, and God will give you the wisdom to solve every challenge and problem in the family in Jesus’ name. No more trading blames nor talking and accusing each other. Let us have inner strength as husbands. When a wife makes a vow, the husband with a backbone will evaluate it in line with the word of God and the situation in the family, and if it is not in the good interest of the home, he can void the vow of the wife with his authority. The man with a backbone will be willing to give out his daughter to marriage in accordance with the Will of God for marriage (Jeremiah 29:6). “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). A husband with a backbone will always find legitimate ways to provide for the family. There might be challenges in your place of work, you don’t quit, but endure the sufferings and challenges to provide for your family.

“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). To avoid loneliness, insecurity, backsliding, let everyone have his own wife or husband, to avoid ultimate perdition. Be a man or woman with self-respect, and do not go into any act of immorality.

Point 3. THE INSIDE BANK OF A VISIONARY HOME

Proverbs 29:18

There is a kind of bank that we have on the inside and when we have any need, we can draw out of that bank to meet those needs in the family. A bank is where we make deposits and withdraws. In families, we make deposits of love, faith, hope, joy, support, positive attitude, and intimacy, so that when we are separated by work commitments or travels, we are able to withdraw from that bank. Having vision for a desirable future and long life of togetherness, help us to make deposit and investments for each other in the family.  “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he” (Proverbs 29:18). The people who don’t have vision for the future will be easily overcome by difficulties and dangers. What kinds of vision should we have?

(i) Vision for the Household – Genesis 15:1-4. Abraham had vision for his household. What vision do you have for your family –  your wife and the children? And what contributions are you making to realize this vision? (ii) Vision of Hope – Romans 4:18-21. Your family will not be hopeless. (iii) A Vision of Health – Acts 27:34. Do everything in line with your vision.Prevention is better than cure, take care of your health, and remain strong. (iv) The Vision of Happiness – Proverbs 17:22. Let there be supplements of merriments and happiness in the family. Be happy and contribute to the happiness of others in the family. (v) The Vision of Honour – 1 Peter 3:7. Honour your wife and husband, don’t look down on one another. Children honour your parents, and the parent to honour their children as well. And your prayers will not be hindered. (vi) The Vision of Helpfulness – Ecclesiastes 4:9,10; Genesis 2:18,20,24.  Two are better than one. Helping each other is the plan of the Lord; marriage provides help for each other. (vii) A Vision of Holiness – 1 Timothy 2:15. Your presence in the family will make your family holier. In every situation, you will be saved, there will be no insecurity nor accident in your home in Jesus’ name. Like Abraham and Sarah came to ripe old age, you will come to ripe old age, you will not die young in Jesus’ name.

Have vision of a brighter future and that vision will be fulfilled in Jesus’ name.

Ponder on this! God has enough grace for a wife through her seemingly sheepish winsome character, and loving submission, to draw her husband to herself and to Christ. Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

Ponder on this! She knows how to quench the fire by the words of her mouth, and builds her home with words that will mend and not mar. Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

Reflection – She is a helpmeet and will do her husband good all the days of his life. Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

Reflection – We can retain our holiness even when it appears that we are unhappy about something. Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

Words on the Marble – As a husband, you don’t feel intimidated nor are you competing with your wife, but you are to complement each other in the home. Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

Key words – To avoid fornication, loneliness, insecurity, backsliding, depression, and ultimate perdition; let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Pastor (Dr) W.F Kumuyi.

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